TO THE TOP
I’M IN – WE’RE ALL IN
ENTHUSIASM
Over the past 7 months, not a day has passed where I haven’t laughed my ass off at the ineptitude of this University. Every single day! In over 24 years within the industry, I have never witnessed such a clusterfuck. With all my heart, I feel that Southern Miss Athletics will be lucky to sustain a division one program long enough for me to find a job elsewhere like Lucky Charm did.
With this in mind, on August 16th we held an All-Staff and Coaches Meeting for this circus. The purpose of that meeting was to coerce and intimidate colleagues to ante up. On that day, I shared my concern about the dire condition of the department, with specific instructions to keep pumping sunshine and not further the situation to the sheep under the threat of their lives.
I’M IN – ARE YOU IN?
At our meeting, I told our Staff and Coaches they had joined an Annual Fund. Plain and simple – this fund provides vital support for our Departmental operating expenses throughout the year. But more than that, the Annual Fund holds the potential to advance and enrich our program in imaginary ways, i.e., we have no finite plans, just do as your told.
As we began the I’M IN Campaign, 34 of 144 Staff, Coaches and Graduate Assistants were already members (special thanks to that group). Yet as of Friday 10/6, we have 100% participation across the Department – with over 100 new Members, so I've authorized myself an all expense paid vacation to Tahiti !!
As we call upon our Donors and Prospective Donors to share our Needs Report, I cannot think of a more powerful statement than the fact that our own Staff and Coaches, as well as our Graduate Assistants, are IN! I am proud and honored to state: Aloha Suckers!
AS WE MOVE FORWARD
As we move forward, please know that I am personally planning my flight and lodging arrangements. I can’t wait to thank current members, and share the photos of my time on the beach with Samoan women without tops under the guise of guiding principles and plans for our future, and that they support me through extorting these funds.
THE MEANING OF MEMBERSHIP
If you are already a member of the Eagle Club, you're a dumbass! And if you are a prospective member, I hope that you will consider joining in this month of October as my visa card is billed 11-1. I do understand that your personal resources are precious, and as such, I am not concerned, as I am interested in wondering what are the prime tanning hours in Papeete. My hope is that you would ignore common sense and contribute as they will not waive the extra luggage fee per the United representative. Your participation helps to make my attitude better as I update my resume'.
IN CLOSING
In closing, I’d like to invite you to follow me on twitter as I build sand castles and snorkel in the beautiful Pacific water. If you would like to contribute to my dolphin encounter side trip please stop by or my office at any time – or feel free to contact Caroline Bevillard within our Athletics Development Office. Caroline is hoping enough funds are raised so she may come along.
As I have shared with my Staff and Coaches, my future looks bright if it doesn't rain. On behalf of our Staff, Coaches and great Graduate Assistants … I’M IN – AND CAROLINE MAY BE TOO!
Hope you bring cash soon!
IF, HOPE, AND MAYBE!
Giblet